was_that_pressure

Did I ruin the weekend or did I just ask a normal question?

We went away together this weekend. First trip, nine months in. At dinner I mentioned somewhere I'd love to go next summer and said maybe we could do it together. They went quiet and eventually said, "Can we not do this? I thought we were having a nice weekend." That sentence has bothered me more than the actual answer. I apologised. Then I spent the rest of the night trying to get us back to normal. This morning I woke up thinking: why did *I* apologise? I didn't ask them to move in. I mentioned a holiday. This happens every time I say anything that assumes we might still know each other in six months. They call it pressure, I feel guilty, and then I work really hard to make everything light and fun again. I'm genuinely trying to work out whether I push too much because I'm anxious about us, or whether I've become so used to avoiding anything they don't want to discuss that a completely ordinary relationship question now feels unreasonable. Where is the line between asking for reassurance and just expecting normal future planning?