Free · grounded · yours alone
What do you actually want?
If that question feels impossible, that makes sense. When you've spent so long supporting everyone else's needs, it's completely natural to struggle to even know what yours are. That's not a flaw, it's a habit. And habits can be unlearned.
The needs that rarely survive a situationship
These are completely normal in healthy relationships, the kinds of things that rarely get to exist in the grey zone. If some of them make your chest tighten, pay attention to that.
"I want to know that I'm their partner, with the word said out loud"
"I want to be introduced to their friends"
"I want their parents to know about me"
"I want to be able to plan ahead: holidays, weekends, next month"
"I don't want to only ever make last-minute plans"
"I want them to think of me before they make plans with other people"
"I want to talk about the future without being shut down"
"I want to be their plus one"
"I want to stop hiding what we are from the people in my life"
"I want consistency, not intensity followed by silence"
Name yours. Keep them.
Create a free account and build your own list: choose from ours, add your own in your own words, and hold onto them. No need here is too much.