stillwaiting_88

I just asked for a label after five years

I feel like a total idiot right now. We have been seeing each other for over five years, and I just kept telling myself she would change her mind eventually if I was just patient enough. Last night we were just sat on the sofa watching tv, and I finally just said the word label out loud. I asked if we were ever going to be more than this, or if we were just going to stay in the exact same spot forever. She just looked at me and said she was not ready, which is exactly what she has said every time we have had this conversation since we started. I am mostly just angry at myself because I knew exactly what she was going to say before the words even left my mouth. I keep choosing to stay here and wait for something that is never going to happen. It is my own fault for thinking that my optimism was actually going to make a difference this time. I am sitting here staring at my phone and feeling embarrassed for even bringing it up again. I know I should just walk away but I honestly do not know how to start.