said_it_finally

Five years and he just said "okay"

I ended it tonight. We've been doing this for five years. I finally said I couldn't keep being his almost-girlfriend and that if he still didn't want a relationship, I needed to stop seeing him completely. I'd rehearsed the conversation for weeks. I had answers ready for everything. I think some part of me genuinely believed that making him understand I was prepared to leave would finally make him choose me. He didn't argue. He said, "Okay. I understand." That was it. Five years of birthdays, weekends away, sex, Sunday mornings, knowing his family, him knowing mine. I have a toothbrush in his bathroom. He has a drawer at my house. And apparently the thing standing between us and never speaking again was me continuing to accept it. I keep wanting to message him and say I didn't mean *tonight*. Which is insane because I did mean it. Has anyone else finally got the clarity they were asking for and then immediately wished they hadn't?