Five years and he just said "okay"
said_it_finally · Posted 16 Aug 2026, 03:36
I ended it tonight. We've been doing this for five years. I finally said I couldn't keep being his almost-girlfriend and that if he still didn't want a relationship, I needed to stop seeing him completely. I'd rehearsed the conversation for weeks. I had answers ready for everything. I think some part of me genuinely believed that making him understand I was prepared to leave would finally make him choose me. He didn't argue. He said, "Okay. I understand." That was it. Five years of birthdays, weekends away, sex, Sunday mornings, knowing his family, him knowing mine. I have a toothbrush in his bathroom. He has a drawer at my house. And apparently the thing standing between us and never speaking again was me continuing to accept it. I keep wanting to message him and say I didn't mean *tonight*. Which is insane because I did mean it. Has anyone else finally got the clarity they were asking for and then immediately wished they hadn't?
What should they do? · 123 votes
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Replies (47)
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i am absolutely sobbing reading this. i wasted six years with a man who treated my emotions like background noise. it hurts so much because you invested your whole heart into a ghost. please, just keep the phone face down.
wait, did he actually look at his phone while you were crying? like, while you were talking? thats actually insane behavior.
five years is a massive chunk of your life to waste on a dead end. he never gave you what you wanted because he never cared enough to. people like him are total shite, you just need to accept that you were never the priority.
i feel for u so much rn. ive been there and the silence on the phone is the loudest thing in the world. try to put it in a drawer or something just for tonight, dont let him keep power over your evening.
exactly, just put the phone away. its not about him anymore, its about u looking after urself. seriously, just turn it off.
wait, did he actually take the toothbrush out of the bathroom while you were still there? because that would be a whole other level of cold.
you hung around for five years knowing exactly what you were getting, so stop crying now. you let him use you, so dont blame him for being himself.
im so sorry, that sounds absolutely rubbish. you really do deserve better than to be treated like an option after all that time.
i remember feeling exactly like this. honestly just delete his number or block him now. my hands were shaking so much but i managed to do it and honestly i felt so sick but it was the best thing i ever did. pls dont text him, its just a trap.
i know exactly how u feel, i did the same thing last year and i still check my phone every morning waiting for a text that never comes. its so hard but u did the right thing by sticking up for yourself, even if it feels like your heart is literally broken in two. just dont text him please, u deserve to find someone who shouts it from the rooftops that they want you.
It sounds as though this situation has worn you down. That does not make you foolish or weak, but it may help to focus on the choices available to you now and the boundary you can realistically keep.
Their behaviour may have been hurtful, but the most useful question is whether the relationship they are offering is one you genuinely want. You do not need to condemn them in order to decide it is not enough for you.
i actually teared up reading this. i spent three years waiting for a text back that never came, then finally walked away and felt empty. it hurts so much more than you expect it to.
im sorry, that sounds rubbish. it is truly the worst feeling ever.
listen, you need to delete his number and block him today. right now. not for him, but so you physically cannot send that 3am text you are thinking about. get that toothbrush out of his bathroom and bin it. do not look back.
i am currently in year three and reading this has made me feel sick. i dont have any advice because i am honestly terrified to say the same words you did.
ugh honestly babe im so sorry this happened to u. it really is just the worst feeling ever when they dont even fight for u. my ex was the same and it feels like u have been punched in the gut. please just try to breathe, it will get a tiny bit easier i promise.
im sorry, that sounds rubbish. you deserved so much more than that.
It sounds as though this situation has worn you down. That does not make you foolish or weak, but it may help to focus on the choices available to you now and the boundary you can realistically keep.
Honestly, I am sat here crying reading this. I spent four years in a similar loop, waiting for him to pick me, and when I finally walked away, he just shrugged. It feels like your entire reality just evaporated in a second. You are so brave for doing it, even if it hurts like hell right now.
i am absolutely sobbing reading this. i spent three years doing the exact same thing and when i finally pulled the plug he just said alright mate see ya. it felt like he never even noticed i was gone. you are not alone, this hurts so much.
oh babe. dont text him. honestly put ur phone in another room or give it to a mate. its just the shock wearing off, you feel like ur missing a limb but ur actually just free. it gets better i promise, just hold on tight x
wait, did you actually leave the toothbrush there when you walked out? please tell me you at least took your stuff back.
i am literally crying reading this. i spent six years waiting for a ring that never came and when i left he just changed his relationship status on fb the next morning. it cuts so deep when you realise you were just a placeholder for them. so proud of you for walking away though.
The difficult part is that you cannot control whether they change, only whether you stay in the same arrangement. That does not mean you deserved the way you were treated or that struggling to leave makes you weak. Try to focus on one boundary you can actually keep today.
Serious question, did he even look up from the screen once the whole time you were talking? That is brutal.
Do yourself a favour and block his number right now. It stops you from checking the screen every five minutes and gives you some actual peace. You need a clean break this week to clear your head.
i am three years deep and reading this just made me feel sick. i dont think i could ever say those words out loud.
The difficult part is that you cannot control whether they change, only whether you stay in the same arrangement. That does not mean you deserved the way you were treated or that struggling to leave makes you weak. Try to focus on one boundary you can actually keep today.
The difficult part is that you cannot control whether they change, only whether you stay in the same arrangement. That does not mean you deserved the way you were treated or that struggling to leave makes you weak. Try to focus on one boundary you can actually keep today.
did you take your drawer stuff back when you left or did you just leave it all there?
wait, did you actually leave your keys there or did you have to hand them over right then?
same. honestly i just keep waiting for a change that is never gonna happen.
he never loved you, babe. you were just convenient.
im sorry, that sounds rubbish. you deserve so much better than that after five years.
wait, did he actually just let you walk out the front door without saying a single word to try and make you stay?
im sorry, that sounds rubbish. honestly, just switch your phone off for a bit.