I left them and came back a week later
stuck_in_loop_88 · Posted 2 Sep 2026, 07:04
Sorry this is long but I need to type this out. We have been seeing each other for over five years now. It is always the same thing where I ask for more commitment and they say they are not ready yet. Last week I finally said that was it. I deleted their number and blocked them because I was so tired of feeling like I was waiting for a train that is never coming. I felt so proud of myself for five whole days. Then on friday night I was just sitting at home feeling pathetic and I unblocked them and sent a text saying I missed them. They replied within ten minutes like nothing ever happened. Now we are back to square one and I feel like such a fool because I know exactly how this goes. I just hate being on my own and knowing they are out there living their life without me. Anyway, I am back in the exact same spot as before. I feel so stupid for going back so fast when I promised myself I would stay away this time. It is just really hard to actually let go when you have been doing this for so long.
What should they do? · 65 votes
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Replies (22)
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Five days after five years is barely any time at all. Going back once doesn’t make the decision fake, but it probably does mean blocking alone isn’t enough of a plan. What would actually have to be different for this not to become the same relationship again?
you are just addicted to the breadcrumbs, run before you waste another five years.
The Friday-night detail matters. That was always when I broke too, so the next time I tried I arranged to stay at my brother’s for the first two weekends. Not a forever plan, just something for the exact hours when I knew I’d cave.
Honestly mate, stop punishing yourself for being human. If you really want to break this cycle, you need to write down every single time they made you feel small or ignored your needs. Put that list on your fridge. Next time you feel like unblocking, read that list out loud to yourself. It makes the reality impossible to ignore.
im sorry, that sounds rubbish. being stuck in that loop is the worst feeling ever.
It sounds as though this situation has worn you down. That does not make you foolish or weak, but it may help to focus on the choices available to you now and the boundary you can realistically keep.
The relationship is clearly not giving you the answer you want, and returning after a week has put you back into the same uncertainty. It may help to make a plan for the urge to contact them rather than relying on resolve alone.
Was there anything specific in their reply that made it feel as though the breakup had never happened, or did both of you simply return to the old conversation without addressing it?
I have lived through a similar cycle. Wanting love did not make me foolish, but repeated contact kept returning me to the same unanswered question. I hope you can build enough distance to hear your own decision.
Five years is a long pattern to interrupt, especially when the other person responds immediately each time contact resumes. One difficult Friday does not erase the decision you made or prevent you from trying again.
I have been in a similar cycle. Returning after five days does not erase the decision, but it does show that cutting contact needs a plan for the lonely hours as well as a block button. Before restarting, I would ask what has actually changed since last week.
Five years creates a lot of familiar Friday nights to miss. Feeling lonely does not make you foolish, and it may help to prepare a specific alternative for the times when messaging them has usually brought short-term relief.
One practical step for this week might be moving their photos into a hidden folder so they are not the first thing you see on a lonely Friday night. It creates a little distance without forcing you to make every permanent decision at once.
A written reminder of why you ended it can be useful during an urge, although a phone lock screen may feel punishing. Keep the reasons somewhere accessible and read them before deciding whether to reopen contact.
Removing the chat thread could reduce an easy trigger if seeing their name draws you back in. It is one practical change, not a substitute for dealing with the loneliness that arrives afterwards.
What did they actually say when you contacted them again? Did they acknowledge the breakup, or did both of you move straight back into the familiar conversation without discussing what had happened?
Five years creates a lot of familiarity to step away from. I would focus less on judging the relapse and more on what happened during those five days that made contact feel like the only available relief.
Friday nights were the hardest for me too because the old routine left such a specific gap. Be gentle with yourself, but make a plan for that time before the next Friday arrives.
I was in a similar loop for three years, and ending it felt like breaking a habit as well as losing a person. Please treat the message as information for the next attempt, not proof that you cannot leave.
Five years creates a powerful routine, so one relapse does not make the attempt meaningless. The next step is to learn from the five difficult days and prepare more support before trying again.
Repeating the pattern is possible, but shame will not make the next attempt easier. A specific plan for lonely evenings would be more useful than predicting another failure.
Five years creates a powerful routine, so one week away was never going to erase it. Contacting them again does not make you foolish, but it does show that blocking alone was not enough support for the lonely Friday evening that pulled you back.