I broke it off and still miss him
still_confused82 · Posted 25 Aug 2026, 06:01
It has been one month since we stopped seeing each other. I know how this sounds, but I really thought we had something proper going on. We spent three months doing the exact same things normal couples do. We cooked dinner every Friday, we watched films at my place, and he even helped me move some heavy boxes last month. Then I asked him where we were headed, and he just went cold. He said he was not ready for anything serious. I felt like a fool because I thought we were already there. I ended it because I could not take the silence anymore. I know I sound pathetic for still wanting to text him today. I miss the comfort of having him around on the weekends. I keep thinking maybe if I had just stayed quiet and waited longer, he would have eventually changed his mind. I know that is not how it works, but I keep telling myself that anyway. It is embarrassing to admit that a few months of hanging out has left me feeling this stuck. Sorry for the essay. I just needed to say it somewhere.
What should they do? · 61 votes
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Replies (20)
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Honestly you werent a couple though. You were just a convenience for him. Stop romanticising someone who told you straight up he didnt want you. Its embarrassing for you.
same. i honestly think i could have played it cooler and he would have stayed. it sucks.
I feel this. Sometimes telling ourselves we could have played it cooler creates an illusion of control. The loss of the routine can hurt as much as the loss of the person.
Three months can still hurt. Missing the Friday dinners doesn’t mean ending it was a mistake; it just means there was something real in the routine as well as a real disagreement about where it was going. I’d be careful with the idea that staying quiet would have produced a different answer.
The difficult part is that you cannot control whether they change, only whether you stay in the same arrangement. That does not mean you deserved the way you were treated or that struggling to leave makes you weak. Try to focus on one boundary you can actually keep today.
Did he help you move those boxes willingly, or did it become another moment where practical support came with resentment? I am curious because the way somebody shows up during ordinary work can say a lot.
If deleting his number would prevent a late-night message you already know you would regret, it may be a useful first step. It will not solve everything by Monday, but it could create enough space to make the next decision calmly.
He did help you move and cook dinner for months, so the relationship may have contained real care even if he could not offer the commitment you wanted. It may be more accurate to examine the mismatch than to turn either of you into the villain.
Three months may look brief from the outside, but being left without a clear answer can still hurt. Try to focus on what the ending tells you about the relationship rather than judging yourself for how strongly you reacted.
honestly mate, you deserve way better than someone who treats you like a part time project.
Friday nights were part of the relationship routine, so it makes sense that they feel especially empty now. Planning something specific for that time may be kinder than expecting yourself simply not to miss him.
You were not foolish for understanding weekly dinners, films and practical help as closeness. Ending it when your needs differed was a hard decision, and missing him afterwards does not make that decision wrong.
The exact number of nights matters less than the routine you built together and the different meanings you gave it. You experienced those Fridays as part of a growing relationship; he did not want that direction.
Three months can still create a strong weekend routine, especially when it felt like ordinary couple life. The empty Fridays may be the hardest part for a while, even when ending the mismatch was right.
Whether the boxes were moved between homes or within one flat would not change the larger mismatch. The practical closeness felt like evidence of a growing relationship to the author, while he still did not want that direction.
The empty weekends can be the hardest part because the routine disappears before the feelings do. Planning something specific for that time may be more helpful than waiting for the urge to contact him to pass on its own.
The post says he went cold when she asked where the relationship was heading, not after helping with the boxes. His answer was that he did not want anything serious, even though the routine had felt like a relationship to her.
The dinners, films and practical help meant something, but they did not mean the same thing to both people. Ending the mismatch may still be right even while she misses the closeness.