--- title: "NotJustMyPlusOne (not ready): 1 situationship story, 0 replies | TheGreyZones" url: https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/NotJustMyPlusOne description: "NotJustMyPlusOne on TheGreyZones: 1 anonymous situationship story and 0 replies, written from the side that isn't ready. Posting since September 2026. Latest: \"" lang: en --- All stories (https://thegreyzones.com/stories) Community member # NotJustMyPlusOne Every situationship story and reply NotJustMyPlusOne has posted on TheGreyZones, anonymous by design. Writing from I'm not ready (1). Stories 1 Replies 0 First seen 23 Sep 2026 Last active 23 Sep 2026 ## Stories (1) ### He is not asking me to come out tomorrow. He is asking if I ever will We have been together for seven months. He is out to everyone. I am out to my friends and at work, but not to my parents or most of my extended family. Until now, we have managed to keep those parts of my life separate. He has met my friends as my boyfriend. I have met his mum and his sister. My parents know there is “someone” I spend a lot of time with, and I change the subject whenever my mother asks whether I am dating. My sister is getting married in November. The invitation includes a plus-one. I assumed he would come and I would introduce him as a friend. He said no. He was not angry. He said he would attend as my partner or stay home, but he would not spend a whole wedding monitoring how close he stood to me and pretending we had arrived separately. I told him that sounded like an ultimatum. He said the wedding was not the real issue. Then he asked whether I imagined my family ever knowing who he is to me. I could not answer. My parents are not people I can casually test this with. I know the comments they make about other gay people. I also know I am financially independent, live in my own flat and am not in physical danger. The thing I am afraid of losing is the relationship I have with them, especially my dad. He said he understood why I had not told them. He also said he could cope with “not now” if there was movement, but he could not build a serious relationship around “possibly never.” That hurt because I have been treating his patience as if it had no cost. I get to have a boyfriend everywhere it feels safe and a vague friend everywhere it does not. He gets a relationship that can disappear depending on who enters the room. He has not asked me to come out before the wedding. He has not threatened to leave this week. He asked me to think honestly about whether I am moving towards a life in which he can be known, or whether I am hoping he will eventually stop needing that. I asked for a week. He agreed. Last night I drafted a message to my sister, deleted it, drafted another and put my phone down. I still do not know what I will say. I do know that asking him to wait indefinitely would be a decision too, even if I never announce it. 11 votes 4 replies NotJustMyPlusOne https://thegreyzones.com/stories/he-is-asking-if-i-ever-will-come-out ## Replies (0) No replies yet.